+thanks

· Suicide is man's way of telling God, "You can't fire me - I quit."

· My classmates and I thought about revolting against math but decided we wouldn't have the numbers

· If you smacked a kid in the face with a bottle of Johnson's No More Tears, would it create beautiful irony?

· Imagine there were no hypothetical situations.

· Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

· I was standing in the park wondering why frisbees got bigger as they get closer. Then it hit me.